Broken Promise
by Then Misha Said
Summary: Dean has been living with Lisa & Ben since they averted the apocalypse, but he can't help but feel like there's a certain Angel missing from his life. Destiel two-shot, in progress.


******Fandom****: **Supernatural**  
********Characters****: **Dean Winchester, Castiel, Lisa & Ben Braedon**  
********Pairings****: **Destiel (Dean/Castiel)**  
********Rating****: **T  
******Spoilers****: **Pilot until 6.01**  
********Beta****: **6.7.I.M.P.A.L.A******- **thank you so very much!  
******Summary****: **Dean has been living with Lisa and Ben for nearly a year, but he can't help but feel like there's a certain angel missing.**  
********Disclaimers****: **I don't own Supernatural as much as I wish I did, nor do I own the lyrics of Broken. That's Seether and Amy Lee. Not me. Sorry guys!

******A/N:**Finally returning to FF after a 7 year long absence! I intend to write a full length fic soon, but needed to do a little one shot to get my creative juices flowing. It's just pure Destiel. Thank you so much to ******6.7.I.M.P.A.L.A**for being my FIRST BETA READER YAYAYA! Anyways, this is just a view of what Dean experienced and missed while he was with Lisa and Ben. Don't read if you haven't seen 6.01 yet. Semi inspired by a few songs. Please read and review! Critical reviews are welcomed- as I said before, I'm just starting to write again so any help, even critical, is help! Thanks!

******Broken Promise  
**

___"You really suck at goodbyes, you know that?" Dean glanced over where his Angel had been sitting, but now he stared at an empty seat. His eyes wandered back onto the road, attempting to ignore the pain-_Dean awoke with a start, as per usual these days. His last words to Castiel still hung in the thick post-dream haze as they always did, ugly and overbearing. Panting and soaked, he wiped away the dampness from his face, and the memories of his dream.

Dean rolled over in his bed, the one he had been sleeping in for a year, to face Lisa, the one he had been sleeping in the bed with for a year. Dean watched his sleeping beauty peacefully inhaling and exhaling, dark curls moving gently as she took her breaths. He focused on her steady breathing in attempts to ignore the dreams he refused to acknowledge that he remembered. He "dealt" with those emotions while he slept; it was the only time he could handle it. Now, however, he focused on Lisa. Loving, caring, beautiful Lisa. ___His_Lisa. He loved his life here, and he could now see why Sam had wanted him to get out, which Dean had dutifully obeyed. Lisa and Ben were his new home; a new Sam, Bobby, and Cas. Dean himself could hardly believe that he had settled down into a family, and had a real, fully functional relationship.

___Relationship_. The word alone used to make Dean run in the other direction. He never considered himself "relationship material"; hence his numerous one night stands. Love wasn't really his thing until Lisa came into his life (or more appropriately, until Dean came back into her life). So much had changed in the hunter in a year. Instead of hunting Rougarous and Vamps, Dean hunted for the perfect movie for family night. Instead of conspiring with Angels and demons, he planned outings with his co-workers and family. When Dean had first arrived at the Braedon's household a year ago, he promised Lisa and Ben that wouldn't have anything to do with hunting anymore (even if that meant Cas, too). Dean even took Ben in as his own son almost immediately after arriving, which both Lisa and Ben appreciated and enjoyed. Besides, it was nice to have another man in the house. It almost felt like Dean was the missing piece to Lisa and Ben's family puzzle.

Dean snapped out of his daydream and wrapped his arms around Lisa slowly, attempting to not wake her- without success. Lisa yawned and stretched out before she rose up to plant a kiss on Dean's bitten lips. Dean returned the gesture and left another quick kiss on her forehead before offering a tender "Good morning." Lisa's response was a simple warm smile that could brighten Dean's day, and she curled into Dean's arms, resting in the peace, comfort and protection that Dean provided.

"Are you still picking up Ben this morning from his sleepover?" Lisa asked before stretching again and sitting up. Dean gave a quick chuckle. "Well, yeah. I stick to my promises, remember?" This was true- Dean had made sure never to break a promise to Lisa or Ben since he returned, and so far, he had succeeded. It was the least he could do, after Lisa and Ben had taken him in after Sam's death.

Lisa headed downstairs to start breakfast, and Dean slowly dragged his way out of bed and into the bathroom, ready to start his day.

x x x

The back roads were empty, as usual, as Dean drove to pick up Ben. The radio in his stupid old Ford was stuck on one channel that generally played pop rock type music, which, in Dean's book, wasn't the worst possibility. Something was always better than silence. Right now, the station was playing a rock-ballad called _Broken _by Seether, which grabbed Dean's attention. ___"Cause I'm broken/ When I'm lonesome/And I don't feel right/When you're gone away," _sang the two haunting voices. Dean immediately felt a pang of guilt- he knew that Lisa's face should have been the first he imagined after hearing that line. These thoughts only brought more memories that he couldn't handle. Dean smacked his hand against the radio, shutting it off. That was far too much for him to handle, even a year later. He was still too broken.

Dean pulled up the truck to the curb with an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, almost as if he were being watched. He noticed that Ben was not outside waiting like he'd said he would be. For most normal people, this wouldn't be a big deal- give the kid ten minutes because he's probably just busy. Dean knew better than that, being a hunter. The uneasy feeling when he'd arrived mixed with a missing Ben made Dean quite worried. Dean lunged for a small gun he hid in the glove compartment, and stuffed it in his back pocket, safely cloaked by his jacket.

The truck door made an obnoxious sound as Dean closed it. The Impala never would have made that kind of grating sound. Dean made his way around the perimeter of the yard, spotting several kids gathered in a circle, where Ben was nowhere to be found. Dean became slightly more worried, now scoping out a perimeter much closer to the house. He had been trained to find things, to find... 'people,' and he knew that Ben had to be around somewhere. Dean's adrenaline raced as he circled the perimeter of the house. Finally after several laps, he stopped beside the porch, in an attempt to make a plan. Dean leaned towards the railing of the porch, desperately trying to figure out where Ben would be. "God dammit, Ben!" Dean muttered, pulling his hands into fists.

"Dean? What are you doing here? I thought you were coming at 12." Ben yell whispered from underneath the porch, while trying to remain hidden for his game of Hide and Seek.

"Oh, yeah, uh, no, I was just stopping by. You know, making sure you were okay." Dean offered an obviously fake chuckle and brushed off his mistake carefully. "You just make sure to out-hide everyone, okay?" Ben just raised an eyebrow and scurried back farther under the porch as Dean slinked back into his truck, embarrassed.

"I can't believe I'm having such an off day," Dean whispered to himself as he started the truck. 'You just need to see him,' Dean's subconscious mused. "Cas…" He whispered, nearly inaudibly. Dean immediately cast that thought away. There was no way that he would call Cas, no way he could give in like that. It would be too painful to break a promise to Lisa and Ben, even if it was for his Angel. Dean needed to know he could be honest, that anyone could be honest and keep their promises, especially after what Sam had done.

___'Dean…' _A voice whispered. Dean shot up immediately, recognizing the voice to be the one he'd wanted to see. It had been haunting him for the past year. But that was impossible. He knew that Cas couldn't find him without a prayer- the engravings on his ribs gave him that much. Dean reached up and placed a hand on his now burning handprint that Cas had branded him with after he saved Dean's life. It was almost instinctual at this point, because everytime in the past when he imagined his voice, his scar would sear. Dean cupped his face into his hands and sighed. It'd been far too long since he'd seen his Angel, but he couldn't break now. Dean sped off, headed towards his favorite little fishing spot. Ever since he returned to Lisa and Ben, this spot was where he'd go to clear his head, to mourn Sammy, or to simply forget.

x x x

The fishing spot was secluded; Dean would have imagined that he had discovered it himself, if there wasn't a dock already built. He had his little beach chair set up at the end of the dock and was returning to it with a bottle of whisky and his fishing rods. No more thoughts of Cas, no more imagining his voice… just relaxing on the lake.

Placing the bottle at his side, he sat down and cast the fishing rod and let nature take her course. Normally, he'd space out, maybe even fall asleep, but as soon as Dean closed his eyes, he saw Cas, again. Was there nothing Dean could do to get his Angel out of mind? He heard his name whispered again, and this time turned around and cried out, "Show yourself!" After waiting a few moments, nothing appeared, so Dean sunk back into his chair and shot back a few large swigs of his whiskey.

Before Dean was too far gone, he picked up his cell and sent a text to Lisa. He was far too ashamed to speak with her, so he figured a text would suffice. "Car trouble, won't be able to pick up Ben. So sorry -D." He pressed send and flipped his phone shut, waiting for the angry text that was sure to follow. A few moments later, Lisa responded with a simple "Fine.", but Dean knew that this was her being angry. _'Time to forget,' _Dean mused mentally, and tossed back another shot or five.

Hours passed as Dean drowned himself in alcohol and fishing, but the nagging image of Cas constantly reappeared in his mind's eye. Only a few shots were left at the bottom of the bottle, which Dean hastily consumed before resting his fishing pole against the dock. He'd been out here for a few hours now, and the alcohol had a clear effect on him. Dean barely managed to lift himself out of his chair before he staggered back to his car. He even had to lean against his baby, or fear falling down.

Dean knew that he needed to see Castiel, and due to the alcohol, Dean had the courage to pray to him even if it meant breaking his promise to Lisa and Ben. Unfortunately, Dean was far too miserable and drunk to care, even if he knew he would regret it in the morning. Dean had nearly gone crazy, imagining Cas' voice everywhere, and Drunk Dean knew that the only way to fix it would be to confront his celestial friend.

"Castiel, you bastard! Get your-er feathery ass down here!" Dean slurred his prayer, but hoped it got through nonetheless. Dean's eyes swiftly surveyed the land around him, searching for Cas, who was nowhere to be found. 'I guess I'll just have to be a little bit more creative,' Dean speculated.

"Cas, buddy, I need your help. I..." Dean hesitated, feeling guilty for even beginning to lie. Strange, how he felt guilty over something he hadn't done yet- and it wasn't because of the promise he made to Lisa. "I'm way too drunk to get home and I don't have any cell reception. Can you please..."

Before Dean could finish, he heard the flapping of wings and felt a breeze hit his back, causing him to push himself away from the Impala. "Dean."

Dean turned immediately, face to face with the familiar pristine blue eyes Dean had so missed. The Angel still bore his infamous tan trench coat, white collared shirt, and blue tie as he always had before. Nostalgia took hold of Dean- after all, it had been about a year since he'd seen his Angel. Castiel straightened up before speaking. "You don't have to lie to-" Dean cut off Castiel before he could finish.

"I'm not lying, Cas," Dean hesitated, unsure of how to explain his feelings to someone who wasn't supposed to have emotions. "I, uh... Well I mean, I do need a ride home." Even drunk, it was much harder to talk to Castiel than he had imagined. The pair had parted on such tense terms, and that tension remained still.

"I can teleport you home," Cas offered before lightly grasping Dean's shoulder to keep the drunk man upright. Dean's attention briefly focused on Castiel's hand. Although the Angel probably didn't realize it, this gesture alone was more than worth calling him. Before Dean could truly appreciate it, however, he noticed Castiel's two fingers lifting to his forehead. Dean backed away.

"No! I mean, no. That's not... I need to... Cas, we need to talk." Dean regretted pulling away, but knew he had to if he wanted to talk, and not have to explain to Lisa why Cas was in their house.

"Dean, you can always talk to me, you know that." Castiel wrinkled his forehead in confusion. Sometimes humans were just too complicated for him. "Just because I don't appear does not mean that I do not hear you."

Frustration boiled inside of Dean, and the alcohol had impaired his patience considerably. "Cas, god dammit! You're not _listening_ to me," Dean hesitated as he saw Cas cock his head to the side, which he usually did when confused. What a cute little mannerism. Dean had always noticed it, but in his drunken state, it produced butterflies in the pit of his stomach. Dean could barely focus on what he needed to say, too mesmerized by the seraph before him.

"Dean?" Cas brought Dean back to reality with a simple question. He was always doing that- helping Dean, even in minute ways. A true Guardian Angel.

"Right. Sorry. Booze bad, or something. Anyway," Dean muttered before attempting to continue. Unfortunately, Dean's state of mind was not opportune for organizing complicated thoughts and emotions. A series of um's and ah's spilled from his mouth as he searched for a reason to make the Angel stay. "Well, uh, let's s-start out with you. How's it goin' in Heaven, buddy?" ___Buddy__? _Seriously? Dean groaned internally at his lame attempt for a conversation starter.

Castiel stared at Dean with confusion. Cas knew that Dean didn't call him here for information on the Great Beyond. He didn't need to be an Angel to know that Dean was avoiding something because for much of the past year, Castiel had been right beside him. The anarchy in Heaven following the near Apocalypse was covered in a faux peace, which Cas took advantage of. He would leave once Dean retired into Lisa's bedroom for the night, not wanting to witness Dean and Lisa's proclamation of love (or lust, in Cas' eyes). Cas had made that mistake when Dean first arrived at the Braedon's household, and from that point forward, he made sure to never enter that room at night.

Truthfully, although Cas was still an Angel, he had succumbed to human desires. He needed to be around Dean, to be able to protect him at a moments notice. So, that was exactly what he did.

Unfortunately, Dean knew nothing of this. Cas had messed up a few times, almost revealing himself to his charge. Wistful whispers escaped Cas sometimes, for all he desired was to be open with Dean. All the imagined whispers were not signs of insanity, just Cas not knowing how to handle his emotions. Being so close to Dean brought on such new feelings for the angel, feelings he was not ready to deal with on his own.

It was Dean's turn to snap Castiel out of his internal debate. "Well are you gonna just stand there or are you gonna answer me, Cas?" Dean slurred, shifting from side to side in an inebriated fashion.

Castiel struggled for a moment, unsure about how to answer, which was abnormal for an Angel of the Lord. He was full of emotions, all of which were unheard of for an angel (one who was not fallen, that is). But here he was, standing before the one that caused all these feelings. Based on that, Cas believed that this was in fact, God's will. Cas was supposed to love Dean, as God had brought him back twice now, emotions and all. Still, Castiel could not wrap his head around lying, so truth was the only logical option.

"I... I haven't been in Heaven for a while, Dean." Castiel shifted his gaze to the ground, embarrassed.

"Well, why not?" Dean questioned.

Castiel hesitated again, unsure of how much truth Dean could handle. "That is not why you asked me here, Dean." the angel stated, lifting his gaze back to the hunter. The comment angered Dean, who had a short fuse while drunk anyway.

"And how the hell do _you _know why I asked you here?" Dean growled in response, while Castiel looked defeated. Before Dean could make another comment, Cas turned his back. "You wouldn't understand, Dean."

Normally, Dean would stand his ground and let the angel leave, merely to show his masculinity. This was not one of those times. Dean circled around to face Castiel again, emotions boiling. "Don't tell me what I don't understand! YOU don't understand, Cas! You don't even exist in my fucking life anymore," Castiel flinched slightly at the harsh tone and false accusation. "Cas, I haven't heard from you in a God damn YEAR! The only person I wanted to see, left me for a year and it's driving me crazy! I think I hear you calling me and I turn around and I can't even begin to explain how it feels when I don't see..." Even intoxicated, Dean realized he didn't need to continue. He fell back against the Impala and buried his face in his hands. "And the worst part is," Dean mumbled through his hands, "You're a damn angel! You don't even have emotions!" He hesitated for a moment. "I shouldn't have called you."

Castiel stood silent, in awe. He should have felt offended, but instead he had a strange mixture of compassion and guilt. It had taken a few moments for Cas to name the feelings inspired by Dean's rant. "Dean," the angel cooed as he stood close in front of his charge. "I was not in Heaven because I was here, with you." Castiel figured his honesty would calm Dean, not upset him. Dean glared angrily at the angel before him, attempting to wrap his mind around what he had just heard.

A familiar mix of emotions- both rage and a little bit of love (and a lot of alcohol)- raged inside of Dean. "You mean _you've _been the one making me feel crazy?" Dean roared, causing Cas to move even closer, protectively. He so abhorred when Dean was angry.

"I did not intend for that, Dean. I merel-" Dean interrupted Cas with a sharp laugh. "You never mean for anything, Cas, that's the problem! What was so friggin' important that you couldn't have let me know you were here? Was it revenge? Or is this your way of getting your rocks off? What the hell, Cas!" Dean pushed himself off of the car, placing himself face to face with the angel, and glared into the blue abyss of Castiel's soul. "I turned in Anna for you, I tortured Alastair for you, and you just left me? What, did _God _tell you that your job with me was done? Am I just some play toy for you to have fun with when___you _decide you want to? Well, I needed you after Sammy died, and you weren't there. I did everything for you! How am I supposed to believe that you were 'looking out for me'," Dean used the cliche air quotes to emphasize his point. "When you didn't care enough to show yourself! You told me you had to go play God, too! Jesus, Cas! Is everything that comes out of your damn mouth a lie? How am I supposed to believe anything you tell me?"

Castiel answered almost immediately. "Faith." For an angel of the Lord, this was always the correct answer. In the past, he'd never have to think twice about his response. However, almost directly after the word left his mouth, he regretted ever saying it.

"Faith?! Cas, did you forget who you're talking to? I mean really, did you scramble something when you came back? Am I really that unimportant that you'd forget everything we've been through?" Dean softened again, fearing that his assumptions were correct. He swayed in place ever so lightly, but noticeably enough that Cas felt it necessary to hold him up again. Unfortunately for the angel, this was yet another thing that angered his drunken charge. "And who the fuck gives you the right to touch me?" Dean raised his voice slightly, but became distracted at the angel's touch. Cas's hands made Dean feel comfortable, loved, happy even- emotions he had forgotten over the past year.

Dean pulled away from Castiel and shook his head to erase the emotions and mental images, replacing Cas's face with Lisa's, which turned out to make everything worse. Now Dean's anger mixed with guilt over breaking a promise to Lisa, regret from calling Cas, and another emotion that Dean refused to admit- desire. Dean was accustomed to hiding from his emotions, not letting them mingle and run wild. "Cas, you can't just act like everything's okay. You can't truly believe that everything is okay between us, do you?"

Castiel stopped and considered what Dean had said. For an angel, it was incredibly difficult to determine how humans regard others, even if Cas did have emotions. Castiel understood how he felt about Dean since the two had first met after being summoned to that barn, and even when Dean managed to stab him out of distrust and partially to protect himself, Cas couldn't help but think it was cute. Castiel was certain about his feelings for Dean, but had no clue how Dean felt about him, which is why Castiel decided to stay with Dean, secretly, for the past year. Unfortunately for Castiel, he still didn't have enough evidence to support the nagging suspicion that maybe, just maybe, Dean felt the same way. Regardless, Cas knew it was time to find out first hand. His biggest secret had already been revealed, after all.

"No, Dean. I do not believe that. But I'd like to fix it." Without any warning, Castiel pressed his lips against Dean's in one swift motion and wrapped his arms around Dean in a manner all too similar to how Lisa acted with Dean. The hunter hesitated for a moment, attempting to determine if his drunken mind was imagining the Angel's kiss. Once he was sure that Castiel was truly kissing him, the hesitation (and all of the barriers previously holding him back) broke. Dean closed the already short distance between himself and Cas before reciprocating the passionate kiss.

Castiel was the first to break the lip lock, but only out of sheer lack of knowledge of how humans show their intimacy. Dean seemed hypnotized as Cas pulled away, as he was still very much in shock. Unfortunately, Cas took the spellbound look as a pre-'WHAT THE HELL, CAS!' look. He mentally scrambled words together in a hurry, before he could be reprimanded by his charge. "I don't know if that was correct for me to do, but I saw it on television," Cas started, attempting to connect with his spellbound lover, "And the pair that pressed their lips together seemed to be in... love." He struggled to pick out the correct word for the emotions he was experiencing, not wanting to terrify Dean even more. Ultimately, Castiel found no other word detailing his emotions for his charge, so he chose the truth once more.

Dean snapped out of his daze after hearing the word 'love' fall from his Angel's mouth. _'____It can't be... Does Cas... but he's an Angel. How can he feel love?' _Dean mused mentally, still attempting to keep the same look on his face so that Cas would be unaware of his internal debate. _'____But that would explain...'_And suddenly, everything clicked for the hunter.

Everything was clear now: Castiel truly loved Dean, just as Dean wholly loved Cas. Dean finally had all of his answers- Cas had stayed with him because he___loved _Dean, and it was not because of some elaborate plot. Castiel had just admitted that he actually loved him. His brain fumbled as he tried to find the right words to say back to his Angel, but the combination of shock, happiness, and mostly his blood alcohol content caused Dean to nearly fall backwards. As usual, Castiel was immediately behind him, holding him up. "Dean, are you alright? I apologize if I am making you.. uncomfortable. I can teleport you home now if you-" This time, Cas was taken by surprised as Dean pulled his Angel against himself and sealed his lips with a fiery kiss. This time, Dean led the kiss, and he made sure this one lasted much longer. The two lost themselves in the passion for quite some time before they were ready to talk again.

Castiel intertwined his fingers through Dean's gently and looked into Dean's jade eyes. "I apologize for watching you when I should not have," Cas murmured. "but I am very glad this finally happened." He nuzzled into Dean's neck, taking in all scents and warmth that he could. Dean placed his free arm around Cas. "Don't apologize, Cas. I shouldn't have freaked at you. I'm the sorry one." Castiel only chuckled in response.

Dean and Castiel stayed together that night, laying in the back of the truck. They talked endlessly about the universe, being retired, what Cas had experienced by following Dean around. And they laughed, more than either of them had in months. For the first time in a long time, they were both truly happy.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, breaking the silence. The Angel opened his eyes as a response. "I love you, too." Dean nuzzled into his Cas, attempting to be as close as physically possible.

Dean drifted off into a deep sleep, the first peaceful one in nearly a year, cuddled up against the Angel. Castiel watched the Heavens and thanked his Father for allowing him, as his charge fell asleep, and he knew with his entire being that this was meant to be.

******A/N-**Thank you so much for reading! I'm thinking about actually adding an extra chapter, with a twist :) If I get reviews saying I should, I will! Thank you everyone :)


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